I am teller of lies
and story

I concoct image by ripping apart self slowly
hoping to fuse together each new crack
in the mirrored glass of my being
praying such is done before one sees it was
ever there
and ever hopeless
I long for freedom
long for spirit to fly
long for the silted crevices of this cocoon
To burst free yielding someone I recognize
yet fear brings me to familiar sands and
I pray for newness

I am ominous conceiver of child
confined to the unrelenting sway of
her Ima's spirit
Her Ima.

Before she could whisper she was gone
once idol hands now
clasp belly
where no longer life is
and sobs cannot bring her back
guilt cannot reclaim life
it is I who begged this to flee from me
this dream would be a forbearance undeserved.

I am heart song and demonizer
curled finger press against neck
ripping at hearts already far gone
begging for love I do not know
Asking for bondage
begging for cages
skies above
prove far more vast than these
wings have been trained to withstand
so I open my eyes and destroy
self
love
image
beauty
gifted
I am teller of stories
and lies.